I have the farts, I shouldn’t have had all those pizza rolls :(
and like it’s dumb that I work him up in my head, but like let me live. If I want to believe he’s this great person and continue to get butterflies whenever I talk to him, so be it. Maria keeps telling me that she doesn’t like him all that much now, not that she’s trying to convince me of anything, but it makes me feel kinda dumb for thinking he’s this great guy, but I mean what else do I have going on rn? If I make him into this weird drug that once I get a little dose it has me happy for 3 more months while I can successfully focus on school and studies and have this thought of him in the very corner of my mind, more power to me. We all have motivations, I wouldn’t say he specifically is mine, but idk. He adds excitement is all. I’m 5 years old, let me giggle and swoon and analyze whenever he talks to me :3
I think I don’t mind putting him on a pedestal bc I know that most likely the feelings won’t be reciprocated, and I know that NOW, so it’s not like I’ll be disappointed if he turns out to be some loser, but I mean I know enough about him to find him interesting. And if someday feelings are reciprocated, it’ll be a pleasant surprise, it’s not expected.
Successfully spoke to Dom
It was great. I look/feel good as shit today for one. Maria called his name and he waved and was about to just keep entering the building but then I turned around to look at him and he came over once he saw me. He hugged me that fantastic hug only tall people hug, and then we started talking about how we haven’t seen each other. He claims he hasn’t seen me without glasses but that’s a lie. His haircut is cute as shit. Mar said that it was good that when he walked over he was staring at me the whole time (“the whole 10 seconds”). I just want to bang him tbh like lets just make it happen.
My teeth hurt!
It’s Mario’s birthday!
I like the choker Maria made me!
I talked to Tyler today!
I’m going to the gym tomorrow!
I need to call Chau!
My friends might visit me soon maybe!
My sisters coming this weekend!
I just read 3 Edgar Allen Poe stories!
Yesterday I heard my good friend say “did you hear that fast food workers are on strike to raise their pay? They want more than minimum wage! Like are they too stupid to realize that’ll cause inflation? That’s why they should just go to school and get a real job”
I was fucking livid.
But things like this remind me that some friends are temporary; some are there to pass the time. We get along in most manners and that’s all that matters.